Buaslbutterfly’s Blog

{March 29, 2013}   Frustrations and tears

I’m tired having to walk around and act like everything is fine. I’m tired having to try to find ways to bite or position myself to hide the moments that are the most painful. Some days, the toughest days I want to stay in bed all day. I have a job and a 2 year old. I can’t lay down and just shut out.
I’m looking into Botox. I’m realizing that along with body memories from PTSD, Vaginismus, that pelvic floor issues have created problems with anal fissures. So Im hoping and praying that it is something that will work. I must admit I have my concerns with it because I still feel its new. If the pelvic floor with anal fissures wasn’t getting worse I wouldn’t have been looking.
I guess family pushing me to do something. I’ve been told I don’t take care of myself or put myself first. Yes I know I have issues. It has been a rough year. The fissures only add to my problems.


{February 10, 2010}   Week 6

I have my fourth ultrasound on Friday and I will be seven weeks at that point. My PT, husband, and I have concluded it is my pelvic floor contracting paired with normal pregnancy discomforts.
The thing I am working on now is walking because apparently my hips don’t stay level and even when I lift my feet. So I am essentially retightening the muscles as I move. Seems easy enough right! Well hopefully the embryo will show at the next ultrasound. My last ultrasound finally showed the amniotic sac and yolk sac.

et cetera