Buaslbutterfly’s Blog

{May 25, 2014}   Frustration

That feeling of been down this path and it hasn’t gotten me much further than I was x number of months ago is where I am with the pelvic floor issues with the rectum. At the point my body is a complete wreck- not only is there blood (which can fill a toilet) with stool and sometimes without stool, I’m just bleeding continuously and requiring a pad.  There are a bunch of things on the table- nerve block possibility but something tells me that won’t fix the bleeding but maybe the pain.  Then there is botox injections.  Then for the abdominal pain which PT and I agree is just part of the encompassing issue is the Pelvic floor dysfunction.  There are several ideas and I’m not listing them down here as of yet.

Hoping to find some relief soon. Hoping that at some point a day where a pain level of 2-4 is like nonexistent and not considered my good days. Looking forward to the day where I don’t have to smile and hide and act like nothing is wrong. I want the day where I’m smiling and saying I’m great is because I’m doing well.  


:: Throwing darts at a picture of my body at the wall:: no really its just I feel like that.




{November 15, 2010}   A True Gift

I gave birth to a beautiful 7 pound and 20 1/2 inch boy. His name is Colin. He is a beautiful boy and a gift. After years without being able to have sex with my husband I thought that this dream would never be achieved. The pregnancy wasn’t easy with my pelvic floor problems. Unlike most pregnant women, I experienced contractions (consistently and monitorable) for a month before delivering. This isn’t like the norm at all. I also had a cathedar for about a week because I had to strain in the bathtub to go and it was painful.
I had a cesarian, upon recomendation of my physical therapist. At first when the word c-section was brought up it was a big no. Then with all the things that occured at my end, I had to put it into consideration. I’m glad. My son is here and while I will never know what delivering a baby naturally is like. My baby is here and I don’t have to worry about perenial nerve damage, which with my pelvic floor condition is a definate concern. The Perenial Nerve Damage is from what I read a very painful condition that can happen during delivery.
For those whom have Vaginismus. Don’t give up hope. Keep the hope. Believe in yourself and respect yourself. It can happen. It is very achievable. The gift is well worth the work you put into getting there.

et cetera