Buaslbutterfly’s Blog

{August 19, 2009}   4th Physical Therapy Session

  At my fourth Physical Therapy session, I mentioned feeling pain similar to pain I experience with dilating when peeing.  The PT looked at me and asked if I “push” when I pee.  (Doesn’t everyone??-nope!)  My pelvic muscles are soo tight I’ve taught myself to push without thinking.  S0-yes- pain is the result of pushing.  I’ve got to get the muscles to relax so that when I sit, I’m just sitting and letting the pee come out with no muscle movement. 

The Physical Therapist used two fingers and got them in a little more, but I swear I had to bite my tongue due to the pain.  The physical therapist went through the areas that still needed stretching and the parts that were relaxed.  While the fingers were inside, the PT placed the other hand on my butt and had me picture drawing a thread from finger to where the pain was inside and trying to relax the muscles around it.  The PT mentioned noticing a difference and there was a constant reminder and focus on breathing. 

Once I managed to relax the area where the PT’s fingers and hand was, I was told to do my Pelvic Clocks. This is my new homework assignment. I don’t need to have anything inside, I’m just suppose to picture the pain and put my hand to a spot on the butt where I feel tension (which is pretty much any spot you can find back there) and relax and do clocks. 

There was no tennis balls and clocks so my butt muscles got relaxation from that pain.  It has been almost a week since the fourth session.  My muscles have been spasming and I noticed the outside labia of my vagina is really not happy at all.  My husband and I tried to be intimate (without sex) because on top of my own vaginismus issues, I have issues with intimacy and body memories.  I actually started feeling wet down below, but due to the muscles spasming . It really hurt and was annoying and frustrating as ever. 

My husband because he loves me, told me to cancel this Thursday appointment, but I know that most likely I have to fight past some of the soreness to get to the point where I’m healthy and normal.  Its not like ignoring the problem and not doing physical therapy has helped me to avoid pain. 

If its true about a tight pelvic floor and if left untreated or ignored, then the pain isn’t going to go away and could create more problems.  In the beginning, I wasn’t ignoring it. It took me 2-3 years before I found someone whom knew what I had or that I was not abnormal.  When I first told someone that I couldn’t insert a tampon, have sex, and had severe pain at GYNs, I was told that was humanly impossible, and laughed at by a counselor. The GYN’s would say they couldn’t do the exam, get mental help, and that was that.  No mention of dilators, no mention as to why they couldn’t do the complete exam, and a rebuttal that my body had no structural signs.  So for me this has been a long road.  If I chose to give up, I could be in for more problems, and then it would be my fault for ignoring the problem.


et cetera