Buaslbutterfly’s Blog

{February 10, 2010}   Week 6

I have my fourth ultrasound on Friday and I will be seven weeks at that point. My PT, husband, and I have concluded it is my pelvic floor contracting paired with normal pregnancy discomforts.
The thing I am working on now is walking because apparently my hips don’t stay level and even when I lift my feet. So I am essentially retightening the muscles as I move. Seems easy enough right! Well hopefully the embryo will show at the next ultrasound. My last ultrasound finally showed the amniotic sac and yolk sac.


{January 24, 2010}   A Trip to the ER

On Friday, I discovered I was getting stabbing pains in my stomach. Part me thought (possible muscle spasms, but the other part thought miscarriage). After prompting from my husband I called the doctors office to see if I could get in to see the doctor. They were closed, but I could see if I could get into see the Doctors on Saturday. The only problem was the pain was getting worse as the day went, and I had a physical therapy appointment 2 hours away scheduled. If I canceled the appointment, I would owe money. Especially since, I had to cancel twice due to the swine flu with no charge.

I asked the nurse, if the pain is something I should wait with a pregnancy. She asked me to describe it and stated that a trip to the ER to just check, might not be a bad idea. So when I met my husband later that night we headed to the hospital. For the first time ever, the doctor was the first person I saw when I got into a room. Usually this isn’t the case, prior to knowing about pelvic floor spasms, I had made trips thinking I had a whole bunch of other things. Only to realize now that I digging up the wrong pile of tests.

The doctor said she wanted to do a pelvic exam and possibly an ultrasound. I explained to the one nurse after getting changed into a gown, that I had vaginismus. She had me tell one of the guy nurses (which I’m not sure why). She stated I should inform him, but he was never involved with any of the processes. Right in front of me, they had a discussion about the fact that they had heard the term, maybe seen one other patient, but didn’t understand it. This was comforting, not really.

The ER doctor, was a lady, and she said to me that if “I only relax things will be a lot easier”. Um. with Vaginismus that is really hard to control. This pap smear was extremely painful. I’m not sure if it was the vaginismus or related to the pain, but I screamed. The doctor looked at me like I was some kind of baby. Oh well. I tried hard to hold it in, but it hurt. The good news that I heard from all of that was that my cervix was closed. If it was open then it might be sign of a miscarriage.

I went for an ultrasound. I am approximately 4 weeks pregnant based off my last period. They were not able to see signs of the pregnancy due to the cell count. So I am to go see my GYN on Monday or Tuesday to get another ultrasound. There were three possibilities : a) constitpation b) appendicitis (which they weren’t really thinking this direction) c) a tubal pregnancy. I really hope this isn’t a tubal pregnancy, because there goes all my hopes of seeing this pregnancy to sucess.

Right now I’m trying to have positive thoughts. The pain comes and goes, but I just have to push on through. I’m thinking it is more pelvic floor muscles or constitpation. I’m hoping that is all. Please pray for my husband and I that it is not a tubal pregnancy.

I can’t believe I saw what I saw this morning. I took one of those over the counter pregnancy tests with little expectations of seeing anything. Two lines came up immediately. I didn’t have to wait more than a second to discover that I was or am pregnant. So that is the good news. I figured since my name is not attached to the blog, that I could type this. We are planning to wait to tell everyone, but I couldn’t help sharing it on here.

So now I need to make sure I get an appointment scheduled with the person in Philadelphia.

{November 30, 2009}   Vaginismus and Trying to Concieve

I had a physical therapy appointment this past weekend. I asked if I should have concerns about problems with pregnancy and my pelvic floor muscles. She told me that I should be looking to find a doctor whom would know about my condition, and someone whom would be willing to do a c-section. I wasn’t thinking of going the c-section route, but she told me what could happen if a c-section did not occur. I will be happy to have kids of my own, but I kind of had hoped that a c-section would be more of an emergency thing as opposed, to going about the whole process without thinking natural birth.
So now I have to share my story in person with another person.

One might think. She can write this stuff online, she is pretty open. I think its easier because you don’t see your audience and I chose what details to share. Whereas when your infront of another human being. They are right there and as you share your wondering what they are thinking. In reality I shouldn’t care what they think about my husband or I. So the phone and I will be using my free Monday to connect with someone for consult.

I have also learned about the importance of taking Folic Acid and prenatal vitamins. I have benefited from a family member whom needed a fertitly specialists support due to fibroids. So I have to up my sexual life to every other day. My husband and I still don’t have sex on any kind of regular basis. The past experience was okay until my husband moved my leg a certain way, which changed the direction he was pushing and caused excruiating pain. I felt bad screaming out loud, but the pain was sooo bad. I just asked that he talk to me when he wants to do things.

I wish I could say I could just hop into bed and everything was moving exactly like they show in the movies. It takes me a long time to be ready and then it it takes a long time just to relax. So for me the whole thing is a process. That is frustrating, but its nice to think that I’m at the point I am now. So my next path in this journey of healing is adding on trying to have a baby.

et cetera