Buaslbutterfly’s Blog

{September 23, 2009}   Vaginismus and The Tampon Struggle

I’m 27 years old and I finally can say I wore a tampon (with very minimal discomfort and able to walk around outside water).  I’m so happy ::victory dance:: Okay. Anyone reading this whom doesn’t have Vaginimus is like “um Okay.. you’re weird”. Maybe I am weird, but I got a tampon inside me with a 1 or 2 pain level. I wore it into work and outside water.  I did this twice. Yesterday I only had it in for 1 hour and 1/2.  Then today, I had it in for 3  1/2 hours. 

I never pictured getting to where I am today.  It isn’t that I have never been introduced to tampons. My mom, a nurse, introduced them to me when I was younger. Not to mention their in magazines, bathroom stalls, and are commonly known about.  My mom couldn’t understand why I had such trouble with tampons.  Half the time I couldn’t get them in and if I managed to force one inside I collapsed due to the pain and fainted half the time.

I began to lose interest in swimming activities and pretend to be too cool for getting in the water during my time of the month because it meant having to worry about tampons.  After repeated failures and frustrations with tampons, I eventually gave up on them.  Believe it or not, some women live without insertion of tampons.  While I wore them twice, I don’t plan on wearing them on any kind of  regular basis. I perfer my pads.

But it feels like I may have won the war on tampons.  It has been something that has assisted in me feeling like I wasn’t quite a woman.  The next step will be sex, and I’m not sure that it will be a success. I’m going to do what the women on the Vaginismus Support Group told me to do.  I’m going to try not to be hard on myself and build such expectation.

Another note on the whole possible attempt at sex.  After telling my husband about my experience with a tampon. He made a surprise stop at the wine and spirits shop and bought some alchol. He stated to help us get in the mood (or relax me).  He of course made a joke about my drunk episode on my honeymoon because I was trying to get myself tipsey. At that time I had no name for my problem and figured that I just needed something to relax me and that the problem would be solved.  Guess again. But that is another story for another day.

So I had to share .. I wore a tampon. Now it was slim and regular size, so it wasn’t that big, but still I got one in and I walked around and taught with it in. So Wooohhooo!!


Melanie says:

oh girl I have the same problem! And I havent been able to get a tampon in!!!

Kaylee says:

That’s awesome! I’ve gotten one in twice, and the first time freaked out so much after I got dizzy and almost passed out (due to anxiety, not anything medically bad). I’m hoping to be where you are next!

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