Buaslbutterfly’s Blog

{July 13, 2009}   Vaginimsus woes

I did my homework with the dilators last night. I did an hour session while watching Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.  I did notice that I have had recent problems of the dilator getting it stuck.  I experience the normal “burning pain”, but then I’ll try to reposition if it feels like it is hitting a wall. It literally took me 15 minutes after the thing was inside to get it out. It was stuck inside. I panicked, which didn’t help with the pain or anxiety.

Today I find it hard to sit and I’ve had spasms of pain in my abdomen.  I have dealt with abdominal pains since college with no answers. Until today, I never realized that even if you are not doing insertions Vaginismus can still cause you pain.  The doctor informed me for the first time that the pain and area is connected to the muscles that are connected to this whole Vag.  For the first time ever, I finally can say I know what is causing my pain.  Most people probably don’t realize what this means to me.

For the past 7 years, I would go through pain that would leave me stuck to bed on steroids and in my abdomen. I would go from specialist to specialist with no answers. Today, I found out what that pain is.  It all makes sense, but until now I feel like others have confirmed it.  No more being sent to the hospital to have tests and have to fight insurance because a doctor or person at the desk screwed up the paperwork to get insurance to cover it.  No more suffering through tests that won’t help.

The other good news, that is if the PT in the area I’m calling tomorrow accepts my insurance. My Doctor told me I can give the name of the person and place and they will write a referral. I don’t have to schedule another appointment.  So while the woes is the pain. I guess I have one odd celebration (knowledge of what is causing pain) and the okay to set up this PT.  Let’s pray insurance covers it.

My doctor also gave me some muscle relaxants and I’m able to go back and get more if this helps :-D!! So while the pain right now is bad, and I’m sufferering.  I’m thinking there may be a light at the end of tunnel. 

In regards to pregnancy issues. I’ve joined the ttcwithvaginismus support group as recommended. Im learning about the “Turkey Baster Method” to pregancy, and weighing options. I was thinking about this because at the office, I go to pick up a magazine while waiting. My luck. The first two magazines I pick are pregancy magazines. I’m not yet pregant and I”m sure none of these women are doing it with vaginismus.  So I’m not going to look inside and feel depressed or reminded of my issues.  I chose not right now. 

Please pray that the PT and medication is the light at the correct tunnel.


Paula Damas says:

It suffered from vaginismus for years and I did not have any success with the dildo / dilator option. Having looked for different options to sort me out over the past few years I did not really want to try hypnosis. I am now of the belief that most issues of vaginismus are due to subconscious / psychosexual disorders i.e. something which happened years earlier or trauma (as was my case). There is lots of information on http://www.vagi-wave.co.uk and they take a different approach to using a dilator. The subconscious mind is a powerful thing which affects how you feel and behave. Hypnotherapists try to tap into this but if you are not comfortable with this then you need a way to deal with the issue in the comfort and privacy of your own home. Hope this helps.

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