Buaslbutterfly’s Blog

Recently I read a blog from another victim of Vaginismus.  I don’t know if victim is the right word, persay. Anywho, the individual was commenting about their research on Vaginismus.  According to their research, and well, I will say the research I have done is pretty conclusive.  Involvement with your sexual partner during the healing process is required for sucess.  This individual was venting as a result of not having anyone at the current moment to help in her matter. 

 I would love to say that having a spouse or partner doesn’t mean they will be active in the process. Mine avoids it at all costs. It’s like the plague.  Quite frankly I don’t blame him.  My mom says its due to the strict upbringing and belief that sex is disgusting. I’m not so certain of that. I have taken it that he blames himself for the situation, when ironically there is nothing he could have done to make this occur.

The problem is with me.   Try explaining that.  I have made some progress with dilators recently which is cause for celebration.  I think I celebrated a little too early.  I managed to get one of the dilators in (not moving) and not entirely inside without pain.  I tried again the next day and the first dilator wouldn’t go in without making me feel like my body was splitting.

I don’t know.  I told my Mom after it happened about the sucess and her response was of celebration.  The trueth is. This is the second time I’ve gotten the first in and then back slided.  She stated it was a sign of things to come. I know she meant a window to the possiblity of sex and maybe grandchildren.  For me, a sign of continual small celebrations to disappointment. I hope not.  I’m going to try again tonight with the vagisil.


et cetera