Buaslbutterfly’s Blog











{January 24, 2009}   An Experience at Adult World

I felt that this story was an embarrasingly humorous story.  This past spring I was encouraged by a counselor to try and get a tiny dildo.  I spoke to my Mom and husband about what the counselor said and requested help.  I was embarrassed to say the least.  My mother told me we could look online, but some of the things we saw were funny, some a bit frightning, and mostly too big.  So it was decided we would go to an Adults Store.

So my mom drug my Dad and the whole ride, my parents kept pondering what to do if they ran into someone they knew.  I was shocked at what the inside of an Adult World looked like.  I know that they are known for being kind of out there, but I ouldn’t have pictured this in my entire life.  We finally found something that wasn’t too scary and was small.

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I’m am 26 years old and married to a man whom has shown me what true love means.  I have Vaginismus which I will in a short second give a standard definition for those whom don’t recognize the term.  Until I got married, I had no idea that there was such a thing as Vaginismus.   Picture going on a honeymoon and discovering that there is a problem and you can’t have sex with the man you love.

I felt mortified.  On the third day of vacation, I broke down and called my Mom whose a nurse.  She just said that I needed to relax and to get myself tipsy.  Well I went a little past tipsy and into drunk and nothing came of it.  I spent a lot of time after the honeymoon depressed, frustrated, and unsure.  Fears of my husband leaving me became an everyday struggle. 

Eventually, I was given a name to my problem.  While I don’t completely understand how and why I have this problem, it is something I’m fighting everyday.  There has been a positive experience, I can say with all honesty that I know my husband loves me for me and not for what I can give him physically.

In the future I hope to have a normal sex life and be able to try a variety of positions.  Prior to knowing about this,I never would have pictured myself purchasing books that showed and talked about sex or going to an Adult store to purchase a dildo upon advice of a counselor.  The purchasing of books wasn’t a counselors advice, it was my own thinking that maybe I was doing something wrong. It was when I had no real comprehension of the problem I was experiencing. 

Here is what Vaginismus is:

Check out the link below:

  http://www.vaginismus-awareness-network.org/



{January 19, 2009}   Hello world!

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